||[Nov. 28th, 2006|08:46 pm]
R. U. Sirius.
i've been pregnant with a silent scream, moot panic and the littlest apathy i've known, and carrying this makes for all sorts of ideological failures, as i've sat impassive and judged others for the same sins and crimes i am now committing, for which i cannot confess shame, but can only say i have become one of them. i cannot apologize, because i do not feel apologetic, just a simple, dangerous, resenting submission to all this, i think i've reached the end of the rainbow and found no pot of gold, and it is exasperating that it is so, so i continue to gnaw like it isn't it, there is more there is more there is more THIS IS NOT THE END|
in between, the pangs of distress done in a complete lack of discretion, i digress... i will wish nothing more or less than loving the consequences, but i am not accepting how it has come to be... so i sit here consuming cubes of sugary death, reading about people i hardly care about, click the mouse endlessly, restlessly, like there is nothing more important than this ennui..
but inside..i am pregnant with a silent scream.